When it comes to tinted windows, BENZO knows if you got it made in the shade.
written by Michael Malone for Benzo magazine

un-D.M.C. once rapped," Tinted windows don't mean nothin'/They know who's inside." With all due respect, I reject Run's declaration that my tints don't mean nothin'. If I am paying six figures for a new CL Coupe, my friends best know that's me in there. The benefits of tinted windows are many, ranging from cosmetic to practical. They may even save your life.

Tinted windows offer you privacy, of course," says Maxwell Rodriguez of New York-based customizer Teknicar. "And they also keep your car cooler and offer a degree of UV protection." But the main reason most choose to tint? "It just makes a nice car look nicer," adds Rodriguez.

Greg Mallozzi, who owns Gregg's Auto Salon in Stamford, Connecticut and has been tinting windows for 17 years, proposes another benefit. "If you have an accident," he says,"the [side] window glass will shatter, but the film keeps the glass from flying all over your car."

Mallozzi explains that many of this customers have their automobile windows tinted to keep the ultraviolet rays off their infants—try that one on your wife if she's skeptical about the expense. Tinted windows also mean less work for your car's air conditioner, Mallozzi insists. He further suggests that thieves are less likely to case a car with tinted windows then they are a car whos stereo or GPS is in plain sight.

And thieves, if you do steal from a decked-out BENZO with tinted windows, there probably are some goodies inside, but you probably are in for some serious retribution. Think about it.

SHADY CUSTOMERS
While the benefits are many, there are drawbacks. Driving a tinted car means you'll likely meet more members of the law enforcement community than you care to. Of course, playing by the rules should exempt you from tickets. Call it racial profiling for your car: cops spot tinted windows, they figure there's kind of criminality behind the glass.

"A lot [of police susipicion] depends on if your car is pimped out or not," Mallozzi says. "If you've got a lighter shade of tint, you probably won't get hassled. If it's dark, you will."

Make life easier for your self. (And the boys in blue.) How? Learn the local laws on minimum light transmission and window/windshield tinting regulations. In New York State, for example, windshield tints can extend only 6 inches from the top, though some tinters will still do the whole thing for you. As Mallozzi advises, opt for a light shade for the windshield, nothing more then a sun-screen, and you won't likely get stopped.

New York Police Department officers often keep a tint meter in the squad car, a device equipped with a transmitter that sends a beam of light through the window, and a receiver that measures the light transmission. "As a rule of thumbs," says NYPD officer Matt Slear, "if you can't see the person, the level of tinting is illegal." In many states, a doctor's note will permit you to get a darker shade.

Any shade of tinting, legal or otherwise, gives a cop probable cause to peek inside and make sure you'er not 12 years old, intoxicated, or both. NYPD officer Jack MacDonald says, "Blacked-out windows are a violation of vehicle traffic law, and a reason to pull someone over. It might be a stepping stone to other violations. If the driver is smashed, we get him for DWI. Maybe he's got a gun too—then it's a better arrest."

Slear adds, "[We] might be suspicious that there's a reason why the driver doesn't want others to see them."

And we might assume that a do-it-yourself tint-job, bubbles and all, on a 1982 Nissan Stanza will attract more police attention than will a top-of-the-line professional tinting on a gleaming M-B. Just so long as it's a BENZO who's amps don't rattle a cops molars, and who's tags don't advocate the use of 40's, blunts or blow.

CAR KEYS
Once you've decided to have your windows done, grab the Yellow Pages and see what customizers can do for you. What exactly goes into a good tinting job?

"Time and experience," says Mallozzi. He elaborates that it's all in the squeegee—employ a watchmaker's patience with it, and the only bubbles the customer'll see will be in the champagn they toast after observing the stellar craftsmanship. "Some places will tell you they can put a few guys on the job and have it done in two or three hours," Mallozzi says. "They're not likely to do a good job. Doing it right will take about five hours."

Tom Kovach, who runs The Art of Tint in New York, believes the key to superior tinting is doing the back window in one piece. Because of a window's curve, many places will lay down more than one piece of film, according to Kovach. But he insists that that technique causes a seam that hack-tinters try to hide under the defroster line. He also espouses the virtues of a micro-dege on the side windows—a so-so effort leaves an eight of an inch exposed at the top, but classy jobs feature a precise cut that brings the film to the edge.

Mercedes are marvels of engineering, but when it comes to window tinting, again to quote Run, it's tricky. Some tinters charge as much as $25 per door extra to remove door panels and add felt to the rubber window gaskets in a Benz. Mallozzi cites the difficulty of tinting the S-Class's back windshields: a high quality film tends to jumble the functions of your radio, defroster, and navigation system, while it colors the glass an unsightly purple. He maintains a lower-quality window film actually takes care of these problems. Call different tuners to learn upfront about any potential glitches or extra charges.

DOUGH, DOG
Miscellaneous charges aside, a typical tint job costs between $200 and $700, depending upon the car. If you're buying a new Mercedes, it's tempting to say yes to whatever add-ons the dealer tries to sell you, but it's wise to have tinting done after you've driven off the lot. Dealers usually hire the same customizers available to you, then charge the buyer double the price, or jack up the tab of a leased car by $20 or $25 a month.

Also ask about warranties. Cheaper places will offer you two years, while the higher-end shops guarantee lifetime. The lifetime warranty sounds great, but don't forget a car's life expectancy is more canine than human. Nevertheless, a good tint job should last 15 years. By then, you might be ready to upgrade your ride anyway.

A great tinting job enhances any BENZO, but which once looks best in shades? Kovach, who has tinted more than 1,000 showroom Mercedes in his career, prefers the CL-Class, especially the 55 and the 500.

A perfectly tinted-out CL Coupe? Even Run and his crew would stop to admire that.